A Bit of My Testimony Written To A Facebook Friend

Shabbat Shalom! Michael,

 
I don't spend a lot of time on facebook. I have four homeschooled children, a part-time job, etc to keep me plenty busy. I so wanted to reply to your message. It is always a blessing to meet another sojourner. Your testimony demonstrates your faith. This life is a trial as you said. I, like you, have set my eyes on passing with flying colors or at least a B+.:) if I can help it. You spoke of "truth". That is the very thing that I prayed to  receive. In fact, it's all that really matters. It is all that has lasting worth. I wanted "truth" more than anything. I nearly traded everything for it too! My awakening came beginning about five years ago. I was pregnant with my last child and only daughter. During the weeks following the sonogram that told us we would have a GIRL, my husband had a dream that the enemy was going to try to take her from us. I put it out of my mind and asked that he not talk about it. Later on during a regular prenatal checkup, I casually refused a simple yet nausiating glucose screening and was promptly told that if I didn't want to do as I was told, I needn't plan on having my baby with that doctor or any other doctor in that hospital.

    I was 32 weeks pregnant! This ultimatum took me by complete surprise and I wasn't about to surrender myself and my child to these people who could care less about discussing my opinions or values concerning our health.

  In my spirit, I heard YHVH ask a profound, yet simple question of me. He said, "Who do you trust?" Well, my honest answer was that I trusted Him. I proceeded to search out and locate an underground midwife. I couldn't understand why all of this had happened, but I knew that for whatever reason, I was more afraid of having this child in the hospital than I was of having her with no one but God at my side if need be.

    As I walked each day before she was to be born, I asked the Father why after having three healthy children in the hospital, was I now being led into what seemed to everyone around me as an extreme situation. Again, I was assured in my spirit that I would know why when she was born. My midwife lived an hour away. I called her after my second strong contraction at around 2:30 am when my husband came home from work. I could never have anticipated the speed of my labor based upon my previous three births. The midwife barely arrived in time to catch my only daughter who was born within one hour from the time of my first contraction.

   In the weeks prior to her birth, I had taken a crash course in the differences between hospital vs. home birth. What I found out, truly awakened my ability to question the construct of our whole society. I know, without a shadow of a doubt that YHVH preserved her life that morning. Had we even made it to the hospital (a 45 minute drive) that morning, she would have been rushed to ICU, placed on a respirator,  given a blood transfusion and any other intervention that would have allowed them to say they had done all that they could. She did not breath immediately at birth. The waters were dark with meconium. She came so fast, she must have been in shock.

  The midwife gave her CPR and was visibly unnerved. She handed her to me. With a shaky voice, she said, "Talk to your baby." While everyone attending seemed frightened, I had a perfect peace I cannot describe. I simply held her and spoke her name, saying "Emma, all is well, all is well." She pinked up, chirped a bit as if to say," What's the big deal, I'm here aren't I?" She weighed nine lbs. six oz. The biggest of all! The people at church seemed to shun my talking of it as the miraculous event that it was. Little did I know, I would not be in "church" much longer and that I would find that most of them were not at all my spiritual family anyway.

  The next thing to hit me square between the eyes was a local pirate radio station broadcast about the Trade Center attacks. Oh my! That information knocked me off my feet, caused 18 months of insomnia, with my rear planted in a chair in front of the computer trying to disprove this crazy but convincing conspiracy theory. I prayed for truth, right? The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The truth is we have an enemy that roams about seeking whom he may devour through deceptions if not by our own rebellion.

  He doesn't appear as dark and sinister, he appears as the expert, as the trusted institutions and governing administrations of this world system. His methods are polished and appear as necessary. I didn't really understand the wickedness in high places concept before coming face to face with TRUTH. It has a way of defining lies as well. It divides houses, as you know well. It pierces the heart and brings our convictions and what we love to the surface. It transforms those people, who will let it, into peculiar people.

  I figure we are like watchmen on the wall for those who are not yet awake to the world around them. My husband and I tried to talk about the things we were finding with our pastor. he ignored us for six months before finally claiming the "rapture" would happen before anything bad happened here in America and that we needed to come back to church and be quiet.

   I had already discovered the origins of the "rapture" theory and knew that no generation before has been exempt from tribulations of all sorts. America is no different. The "Left Behind" idea was only 150 years old and I'd better not count on it.

   My husband and I became political activists for a couple of long years, meeting so many amazing, educated and bold people. I never knew people existed who were so passionate about truth before. Yet, for me, so much in the political arena is rigged and financially out of reach that I soon realized this is not the way to overcome evil.

   I had been searching the scriptures for some time with my mother's Strong's concordance. But when I discovered E-sword.....everything began to come into focus. What took 2 hours to discover with a Strong's book and one-word searches, I could accomplish in 15 minutes with whole phrases. Wow!
 
  My husband was already a history buff and I had begun to dig into the history of Protestantism and the Catholic influences on our faith. E-sword could answer questions as fast as we could ask them.The sign of the covenant came first into my practice. But my husband wasn't exactly keeping pace with me on the spiritual revelations I was having and the conclusions I was coming to. He grew up in our small town and I think he wasn't sure how he could live here with such radically different beliefs about literally everything that everyone else held as "normal". I felt almost like he blamed me somehow for where we were in our understanding at that time. It was disturbing to look around and have absolutely no one to validate your thoughts or to relate to what was happening as our paradigm shifted quite completely.

   YHVH began giving us like-minded friends to fill the void we didn't think could be filled in our rural Alabama town. One family was only a 5 minute drive from our house and two more families were within 20 miles. That is another story of a miracle. All because I bought a dairy goat from a lady who was a good listener. She lived 40 miles away and knew a family that lived 100 miles from her who knew my brother and sister in Yeshua who live over the hill from me. I had never heard the word "messianic" before and don't necessarily adhere to the labeling now, but these were my people, lovers of truth. They were right on time! I was about to be tested again.


    My husband and I had constant contentions and strife over his relationship with alcohol for all of our 15 year marriage. As I turned more and more to the Word for instruction, he dove deeper into the bottle. All my years of trying to earn, then beg, then demand his sobriety and love finally disintegrated into something that I could no longer control. I finally let go of him and any hope of restoration of what was lost. As I gave him up and packed up, he put himself into a 6 month faith-based treatment facility leaving us penniless and on our own. Amazingly YHVH provided in ways that I never could have foreseen. He lined up work for a 12 year stay at home mom within the first week that paid over $1000. His provision multiplied over the course of those months. We should have lost everything, but five months later, our finances were stable. Rusty returned home sober, with a job, with a solid desire for the will of God in his life, and has now been sober for two long years. Everyday that is still a miraculous event. He is daily astounding me with the wisdom and calming assurance that he has acquired from YHVH to care for his family, traits that were not there at all for 15 years that I've known him.

  I, like you, desire to do the will of Him who has called me out of darkness and into his marvelous light. I just want you to be encouraged today and to know that you have a friend indeed down here in Alabama. Your 'Getting Started' page on your blog is just the sort of thing that is needed for those who are diligently seeking the Elohim of Israel from all the nations where they have been scattered. I will promote it. I have started my own blog more as a place to write and to store my writing. I work on the computer and run a household, so I currently only have one article on there. I have more  than that I have written but haven't had time to upload it yet. Please visit and share your thoughts. http://www.awakeoisrael.blogspot.com

  I love Sabbath for the rest and refreshment of true fellowship. It is my delight to have made your acquaintance,dear brother. I am reading a book right now that you may find interesting. It is by Jacques Ellul, a French professor of history and sociology and an expertise in Roman law,born in 1912, also author of some 40 books. This one is a later work entitled "The Subversion of Christianity",published in 1985 just before the American messianic "movement" really began. It fascinates me when I find others who see so many of the same things I can see and I am so less educated than they. That is YHVH's doing and it is marvelous in my eyes.

Talk to you soon, I hope,

                  Sunny

How well do you know your Scriptures?

  I was 32 years old before I realized that going to church does not automatically verse you in biblical knowledge. Denominational (meaning 'divisional') doctrines of men, yes, but not the pure Word of God as revealed by the Spirit and Truth. What manifested this to me was the moment I began to see the problem with denominational-ism and the way that men go about cherry picking passages of scripture to proof text their own religious dogma to the point that they are unable to give an honest studied answer to genuine biblical questions to those seeking to resolve a seeming contradiction. The point of questioning religious theology or dogma is the point at which a truth seeking person will most likely get the right foot of dis-fellowship. The "church" in the denominational framework cannot reconcile its own doctrines with the Word of God and is too religiously puffed up to admit it and repent. That is why the Revelation says to "Come out of Her My People". And so I did.

  I came out and took up the Word of the Creator of the Universe and began to sit at His feet with my questions. The first one was "What is Truth?" Jesus said he was the Way, the Truth, and the Life. What is Truth? Is it one, is it absolute, is it constant throughout all time? Does it evolve? Can it change according to the will of man? That was all I started with. I was so determined with tears and at all cost to know this one thing for a certainty. I knew if I could identify truth and it were unshakably constant, then it would be my Rock to build upon and I could put forth all my heart's effort to search for it. I could then pocket every piece of it like a gemstone knowing full well that no matter what falsehood I encountered in this life, I would not be deluded or deceived because I had the genuine article to check it by right inside my pocket. 

    I thank my sweet mother for giving me her Strong's Concordance and giving me the example of a child-like spirit.She was so real with her heavenly Father. She fell upon that Rock with all her shortcomings, and was broken. You see, I realize today, that brokenness is what we need in this life much more than self-esteem. It was the fruit produced by the last Great Revival that swept through America in the 1800s.Until we are broken, we cannot be made new. Just read Matthew 21:44. In context, this seems to point to the means by which we ourselves can become fruitful. Like the ground needs to be broken for seeds to germinate and produce. I want to be bearing fruit for the kingdom. It is vanity to think that I deserve worldly esteem or that I should seek the comfort of my flesh. I owe it to the One who purchased my life to serve Him no matter what it costs me here. I recognize I am not promised any glory in this world, only life and peace and rest for my soul. (See Matt. 11:29, Rom. 8:6) In plain language, Jesus explained to us that we would encounter suffering for His name (His true character) which must be unarguably founded upon truth. (See John 15:19 and Luke 6:22)  That said, I want to share what the Scriptures reveal about "Truth". 

   I remembered having read before in the Gospels where Jesus was praying to our Father for His disciples and also all those who would come to believe in future generations. He said "Sanctify them with thy truth, thy Word is truth". (John 17:17)  Well now, there was something to go on. I then remembered that song I had sung for years in church, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path". That would make sense for "Truth" to be synonymous with God's Word. Truth is what lights the path before our feet. I got my Strong's to work to see if the song was from Scripture and lo and behold it was. I was shocked to find it located in the heart of the most unread Psalm of David, Psalm 119. It appeared to me that to David, God's Word was a term used interchangeably as a reference to the law and the testimony of God. So now here I am, first I wanted to specifically find the meaning of truth and now it appears I do not know specifically how to define what is the Word of God. It is true that the more we learn, the more we realize we don't know.

    My next step was to find out if the word "truth" is mentioned in Psalm 119 at all. Lo and behold :) sure nuff! Psalm 119:142 says "Thy righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and thy law is TRUTH." Huh???  In all my Christian experience, I had never heard this. I had heard the LAW denigrated and said to be "done away" with. The law was always presented as something we don't need to know about because it is irrelevant to our salvation in Jesus. I was confused. Jesus obviously knows what He is talking about when He asked our Father to sanctify us by His truth. My search continued to bring more questions than answers at this point. What does it mean to be sanctified? And does that at all have any relevance to the law of God which I had never studied? 

   Well, as this is my first blog of many to come, I will cut to the chase here. And I hope you will come again to visit and to read more about my quest for truth and my awakening as I am able to share it in detail with those who are searching. 

   This is the best conclusion I can give for what I have discovered. It is a travesty that the Bible is divided into two parts and then to add insult to injury, those parts have been labeled "OLD" and "NEW". This is a product of the Roman Empire and linear Greek thinking. It would have been less injurious if the one had been  labeled "The Hebrew Scriptures" and the other, although ridiculously inaccurate, simply "The Gentile Scriptures". After all that is the way we have been taught to see the Bible. Judaism claims to believe the law and the prophets but denies the testimony that Messiah has come --- that's "Old". Christianity claims to believe that the Lion of Judah has come but can't tell a Jew why because they deny the relevancy of the law and the prophets ----that's "New".  What my search has revealed to me is that the Bible is ONE book, not two, that there is ONE God, not two, and that both Jew and Gentile are ONE in Messiah, partaking of the richness of the olive tree, Israel, restored in Messiah Yeshua aka Jesus the Christ. Thankfully, I am not the only one seeing this today though it felt like I was at the time the veil was lifted from my eyes.

    The thought occurred to me one day that there is no way to interpret Jesus' words outside of the context of Hebrew scriptural definitions because there was no "new" or different or gentile scriptures when He referred to the Word of God.They would not be a written reference point for anyone to use for nearly two hundred more years. Not only that, but the prophets testify that God does not lie and that if any man speaks not according to the law and the testimony, there is no light in him. (see Num. 23:19 , Isa. 8:20) That ought to strike us as odd. God wouldn't say something so plainly like that and then send us His own Son and all of the apostles and teachers only to contradict Him. In fact, he promises that He won't do anything unless He tells us first by the mouth of His prophets. Jesus said that prophecy is given so that when we see those things come to pass, we might believe. It is the strongest evidence upon which our faith must stand or fall. Either the God of Creation is outside of time and can tell us the end from the beginning or He changes and we cannot be sure of Him or His actions or His knowledge for our lives. In order to say we have faith in Him, we must believe wholeheartedly that His Word is invariable. For me, world history proves it without a shadow of doubt.I can trust Him to lead me in the straight and narrow way.

       Having studied and compared both divisions of the Bible in context for about five years now, I have discovered many little-known and amazing things written in the Hebrew Scriptures concerning the "gentiles" and innumerable evidences of God's faithfulness to the Hebrews written in the "Gentile Scriptures". So why the disconnect? Why are there so many religious factions? I believe they are a fulfillment of prophecy as it is written beginning in Deut. chapter 29. But now the time has come for the promised regathering of what was scattered.The two sheep folds are being made into one NEW fold. But the factions must be broken before a new thing can be made.  As access to knowledge increases in these last days, we are seeing God's children beginning to seek to distinguish truth from lies and to resolve scriptural difficulties that were once only the domain of the learned priest. As it is written in the Proverbs, "Buy the truth and sell it not, wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. A prophecy is also coming to fruition that foretells of  the day of affliction when the gentiles shall come unto Yahweh of Hosts and say " Our fathers inherited lies and vanity and things that do not profit." (See Jer. 16:19) 

       The "old" and "new" testaments fit together like a hand and a glove. But the Hebrew Scripture is the hand and not the other way around. We have been taught to read our Bibles backwards, often forming our own definitions for words where ever they are not supplied inside our  "new" testament frame of reference. But when your encyclopedic dictionary is the Hebrew Scriptures, as it was for the Bereans who received praise from Paul, you will find light shining on the pages of the "new" testament like you never would have thought possible. The glove (N.T.) must never deny the hand (O.T.) or it will collapse for lack of substance. With that analogy in your mind, the "New" testament must conform itself entirely to the shape and depth of the Hebrew Scriptures or God must be accused of lying. We as believers must not deny the truthfulness of His promises. We must learn what the law and the prophets say and be washed by the water of the Word as it is revealed to us through the teaching of the Holy Spirit. We must cast off the notion that the law is SIN. God said the law is TRUTH. We must learn the scriptural definition of sin. (See 1Jn. 3:4, Ps. 32:1) Whoever defines the words interprets the text. 

    I will finish this up by sharing a couple passages of prophecy that really caused me to become detached from looking to church pastors for answers. I wonder how many of them have never read these. There is a good reason why Jesus often asked the religious men of His day, "Have you not read???" Several times in the N.T. it stated that the Pharisees did not know the scriptures. That was the problem with their theology. It is no different today. Too many of our so-called leaders are "dumb dogs", loving filthy lucre more than truth. There is an interesting prophecy concerning Jesus that I found and that you will never hear read in the pulpits of 95% or more of Christian churches. It is this."The LORD is well pleased for his righteousness' sake; he will magnify the law, and make it honourable." (See Isa. 42) You will not find anything to the contrary in prophecy. (See Isa. 42) Then in Isaiah 56:6-8  God gives promises to the strangers or the "gentiles" who take hold of the covenant and keep the Sabbath. If God's Word is not synonymous with His Testimonies penned by His chosen Prophets, His Law/ Instructions, His Way or cycles of righteousness, and His Truth as Yeshua expounded upon them and gave us His example, then the Bible is without any other definition, plain and simple. I welcome comments and questions on the subject so long as everyone understands that the body needs collaborators in the search for TRUTH.